A Work in Progress

Once my daughter passed away, many people have asked the same question over and over again, “How have I been able to go forward with my life without her?”  The answer is I just do.  When I think of her, one can only imagine the array of feelings I have.  They range from happy, sad, and angry, but most of all, I mostly just miss her.  I miss her smile.  I miss hearing her voice.  I miss her being at family events with me.   I miss sending her a text message with my outdated phone and her telling me I really should upgrade.  I see tv shows she liked and think of her.  I see a little black girl at church with a bunch of ponytails in her hair and it reminds me of her as a child.  Its time for a lot of college students to go back to school, I think of how she would be starting her sophomore year.  Everyday, I still cy and its been a little over six months since I lost her.  Each day does get better.   My goal is to think about her and have happy crys if I’m still going to cry.  My goal is to think of her and smile and think of all the times I was a good mom to her.  My goal is to only think of her happy times like winning writing contests and making her high school cheerleading squad.  My goal is to make people more aware of mental illness.   My goal is to keep going and working on myself getting better.  I’m a work in progress.

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