Archive | November 2013

Shout Out!

I wanted to give a shout out to all of those people who have helped me through this ten months since I lost my beautiful Aris B.

It has been a hard journey. Something I wouldn’t wish on anyone. I want to thank you all for your kind words, financial support, being listening boards, letting me cry, and most of all allowing me to express how I feel about my daughter. Her death was heartbreaking, sudden, and everlasting for me. Each day I ask God to restore my joy and help me to live without Aris here in the physical form. I ask for strength and courage. All of you have helped me stay strong and I need that because I’d be lying if I said there haven’t been times where I just wanted to give up, because there has. Thank you for trying to be yourself around me, that makes me feel a little normal. Thank you for continuous prayers! They are working and I can never have enough! Thank you for still being there for me because these ten months have been heavy and the laughter we have shared over the years has been little. I pray to have that restored. Thank you for allowing me to grieve at my own pace. This life changing event was something that changed my entire life and I had to deal with this and go through it, now. Being someones mom for 19 years then suddenly no more is just an emotional rollercoaster so forgive me for my crazy moments to come! Thank you for being my loved ones. There is no way I would be writing this today without you. God put you in my life for a reason and right now, you all are helping me keep my faith. 🙂

Express yourself!

People need to express themselves and actually say what is on their mind and how they really feel. Most of the time, people think they are doing someone else a favor by concealing what they really think in order to be polite or spare their feelings. But really, how polite is it to lie about how you really feel? I stand for honesty even if it hurts me or someone else! If you don’t feel comfortable “keeping it real,” try writing the person a letter. Have them listen to a song that reflects your feelings. Or you could literally draw it out for them. The truth is always right and in the long run, it will be good for everyone!

Tomorrow

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

by William Shakespeare, Act 5 Scene 5 from the play Macbeth

I had to learn this for my 10th grade honors English class. At the time, we had to memorize a soliloquy and then recite it out loud to the class. I picked this one because it was short. Of course I recited it flawlessly to warm cheers and claps from my classmates. Only after really reciting the words did I realize that man, this was a “debbie downer.” How this Macbeth dude had a grim outlook. I shook it off and kept living my life. I can say, mostly positive. Now, since Aris died, I truly understand this. I believe it means life is short and you can be here today and gone tomorrow. A conclusion about life- it is full of contrived struggles. Days on this earth are short, a “brief candle.” A person’s life is so insubstantial that it is compared to an actor who fills minor roles in an absurd play. There is a struggle for substance in life, the actor who “struts and frets his hour” but, it is contrived and will thus fade into obscurity. Love never fades even after death.

This is dedicated to Aris B. my beautiful girl gone way too soon!

Take time for you!

Most people are trying to take care of other people. Whether you are the single mom caring for your child, the dedicated worker who aims to please your boss, or kid who looks after grandma just as much as she looks out for him, chances are you have someone else to attend to.  In order to do these things, you yourself must be o.k. Take the time to care for you.  You are important.  You are no good to others if you aren’t well. Watch a funny movie.  Call up your girlfriend and laugh your booty off. Cook your favorite meal or indulge in your favorite dessert! Take a quick power nap. I promise if you take care of you, all the rest of life’s obstacles seem manageable, just a little bit easier.  You are so worth it!

How can you heal a broken heart?

Since my daughter Aris passed away, I feel like my heart is broken. I try each and everyday to move forward, but the truth is my heart is still broken. She is the first person I think about when I wake up and the last person I think about before I go to sleep at night. Some days are good and some days are bad. My selfishness of wanting her here never subsides. So what I did today was search for ways to mend a broken heart. I’ve combined a list of the most important things that I feel can help mend a broken heart.

How can you heal a broken heart?

1. Go through it, not around it.
2. Stand on your own.
3. Detach and revel in your independence again.
4. List your strengths.
5. Allow some fantasizing.
6. Help someone else.
7. Laugh. And cry.
8. Make a good and bad list.
9. Work it out. (Exercise)
10.Create a new world.
11.Find hope.