Archive | January 22, 2014

Year One

It has been a solid year since Aris passed away. Do you really want to know how I feel? My feelings have not changed so what I’m telling you has to be the truth. Losing your only child is the most awful thing in life. Learning to live without her is even harder!!! Honestly, I feel like I love her even more! Sounds weird, I know. I quit thinking about if Aris would have lived because that’s not what’s going on.  I think about how sweet and soft spoken she was. I think of her laugh.  I think about laying on the couch and us watching a movie. I think about asking her what could I have done to stop the pain she was in without her taking her life. I think about understanding mental illness. I think about how I thought I knew so much about life because I had raised a daughter but you really find out about life when you lose a child. I see how a parent could lose themselves.  I see how you could want to give up. You do see that you are wayyyy stronger than you ever could be so when the grieving stops, sky really is the limit! I.did end up having a loving family who supported me every step of the way.  I really did pick the best friends a girl could ever have. They are still seeing me through. Time is the answer to most.  And love is truly always if its real. I’m sure year one or one year sounds like it’s all over the place. That’s because it was/is. Imagine being me and living it! 

Dedicated to Ms. Aris B. 1993-2013