Archive | August 2014

Better Days

So glad better days are here!  I spent so much time in darkness, that this light is so bright! When you lose you, don’t recognize who you are,  then get the chance to be yourself again, it’s like every experience is just that much more better! It’s like getting to experience things all over again, but it feels like the first time! When I look back, all I can be is thankful that I am no longer in that dark place.Took a long time to get here and aint no way I’m going back! 

 

Stop Hating!

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I wish…

I wish that everyone could see themselves the way that God sees you. He thinks you are the most beautiful person. It is the most amazing thing EVER! He is always right there especially in the worst times! All you have to do is believe and have faith! He will NEVER leave you, while most leave him! Many times people really believe that they are doing everything on their own-without God. Yeah right! In the midst of chaos, he’s closest! You can live your best life ever if you really stop listening to yourself and listen to him. You wil develop an everlasting peace that will surely shine through! Not saying that you won’t have hard times, because YOU WILL! But it’s a knowing that this too shall pass and he is in control! Before you consult your best friend, your ma, or your man, try talking to God! Then listen intently! Just my wish…

Do you really care?

When you ask someone how are you, do you really care to know the answer? Are you really just being polite? Do you have the time to listen to the answer? Are you really listening or are you just waiting to speak? Are you helping or just saying you’ll hep? Is this their problem-not yours? Can you be a friend during the tough times? Do you ignore them when it’s uncomfortable? Are you being positive? Are you really that busy? I don’t know the answers just have the questions! Think about it…

I’m Still here!!!

20140303_180741When I lost my only child, Aris, my whole life changed and NOT by me wanting it to. I have been through every emotion the human brain and body have to offer!!! But, I’m still here!!! Yes, I deal with missing her and loving her more, but I’M still here. I honor her spirit and who she was and NEVER forget. I don’t have the luxury of checking out completely or pretending that she’s just away somewhere.  Those things aren’t real. The courage that I’ve shown through the pain many will never ever attain! Let alone understand. But I’ve never asked anyone to either, ever. What I have wanted but never asked is that people don’t personalize the situation because I’m the one living it. If it’s hard to talk to me or face me or feel weird around me, it’s you not me. This is a hard walk but I would never be a victim! I’m still here!!! My role is to show that life can be hard and filled with the most unimaginable things but, to never give up! Everything that happens to you, you were built for. You had everything you needed the whole time, but it had to be pulled from the depths of your soul! The person that comes out after is even more extraordinary! I was deeply effected by the death of my daughter, but being her mom was one part of the totality of the person I am. I can’t let her death or how others view me DEFINE who I am. I have the strength to live my life and the worst thing ever, out loud for everyone to see, and again, I’m still here!!!!